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Where I Come From...
Life in Warshington County
Where I come from, there's no argument over po-tay-to
or po-tah-to.
Everybody knows it's putatuh. Here are some more quaint phrases from Marietta,
OH, along with translations.
A----------An. "I brought you a apern." It amuses.)
Where I come from, we rarely have to worry about
gangs.
However, those innocent days may soon be over. To the right is an
example of graffiti that was recently found downtown.
Where I come from, people aren't judged negatively for
being dark-skinned.
We do, after all, have 15 tanning salons. (That's 15 times the number of
dermatologists in our Yellow Pages. We also have more bail bonding
companies (7), more tractor dealers (6), more psychics (4), more bingo
halls (3), and more hypnotists (2) than we have Starbucks (0). )
Where I come from, people enjoy many diverse sports.
Everywhere you will find fans of NASCAR, pro wrestling, demolition derbies,
tractor pulls, drag racing, deer hunting, square dancing, and playing the lottery. (There was
a local news article at World Cup time about how much Mariettans didn't
care about the world's most popular sport. And, we have cow patty bingo.
QED.)
Where I come from is the "crown jewel of Appalachia"...
...according to Mayor Joe Matthews. This display of hometown zeal was almost certainly unrelated to his bid for re-election.
Where I come from may not impress you at first glance, but our vibrant citizenry and our thriving tourist industry prove that our region is among the most beautiful, intelligent, and culturally advanced places in the world.
Anyone who suggests otherwise, for example on a satirical web page, risks being attacked in angry e-mails and anonymous letters. Beware!
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This page last modified: May 29 2005 23:26:30. This site created and maintained by Jaymie Strecker (streckerATumdDAUGHTedu). The logos of and all text and music contained within thehumanitarian.org, unless otherwise attributed, are © 2002-2008 Jaymie Strecker. |