Questions Which Are Asked Frequently

FAQ

Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going?

"A better question is, why aren't you gone?" (quoth my brother)

What's a good price for memory for my computer?

The most important thing to remember when purchasing memory is to be wary of vendors who charge too little... Caveat diem!!! Consult this handy conversion chart before you buy memory.

1 Megabyte 1024 Kilobytes

1 Kilobyte 1024 Bytes

1 Byte 8 Bits

1 Shave and a Haircut 2 Bits

1 Bit $0.125

$1 8 Bits

1 Byte $1

1 Kilobyte $1024

1 Megabyte $1048576

If the Count tries to count to 0, does he get stuck in an infinite loop?

What are meta tags for in HTML?

Meta tags have a very important job. They store subliminal messages in web pages. (HTML comments do the same thing.) When an unsuspecting person looks at a web page, these messages in the source code, though invisible to the eye, travel directly into the brain. (Hint: Do you have a sudden craving for exotic meats? An unexplained distrust for monkeys? )

If a bacterium wanted to be a poet, what would it call itself?

e. e. coli

What does one drink at the prom?

Promenade.

What exactly is "gratuitous" sex?

This refers to sex which involves a 15% tip.

Is it good or bad if your vacuum cleaner sucks?

Is it good or bad if your wedding goes off without a hitch?

What's silent for 5 years, then says "To thine own self be true", then is silent for 5 more years, then says "Neither a borrower nor a lender be", then is silent for another 5 years, then says "O, I am slain"?

Polonius Monk.

What are the chances that my professor will die before this paper is due?

Old professors never die. They just become persons emeritus.

You're my hero! May I have your autograph?

No.